Hanging out with my dreams

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There were four things that made me very happy when I was a kid:

  1. Singing with LP’s in my room for hours and hours lost in my own world of music,
  2. cooking or baking in the kitchen
  3. reading books I got from the public library, and
  4. staying up late watching classic old black and white movies on our old black and white television set.

Yes, I was a lonely child. Nevertheless, living in the city, I found ways and means to be happy.

Today, I know other kindred spirits who can relate to me. People who don’t seem to need people.

One guy I work with loves to cook and finds he loses all worries when cooking.

Another person I know, can spend hours singing and playing songs on the guitar, oblivious to anyone or anything around him.

I watched a video of one lady singing a country song who had her eyes shut. At first, I thought she was vision-impaired. No. She could see. She only liked to sing a whole song with her eyes closed. I understood completely, she was in her own little world.

Once I was getting a ride home from this guy I used to work with. We both worked at a music store when I lived in Toronto. In the van on the ride home, I had a song stuck in my head, so I was singing it.

I did not know what to say to the fellow behind the wheel, so I did what I always used to do when I was a bit stressed, I sang. I have a light soprano voice, and perfect pitch. Secretly, in my starstruck juvenile mind, I felt the guy would enjoying hearing me vocalize, if he paid attention to me.

Boy! Was I in for a surprise! The guy told me to be quiet. I think he knew where he was going, but he may have wanted to listen to something else other than me like CHUM FM.

Oh dear! I didn’t quite understand his protests. So, I just kept on singing away!

Finally, in the most hostile manner imaginable, verging on bloodshed, he screamed at me, Shut Up!

After my shock and terror, I never spoke to him again!

In hindsight, I imagine he felt I was ignoring him.

Another time, I was spending time in my own musical reverie, listening to my Walkman with my headphones on, in the presence of a friend, again in a vehicle.

My friend did not like that I was not paying attention to him, even though he spoke not a word to me. I thought it was okay if I enjoyed my own private concert through my headset if I wasn’t driving.

I did not expect I was supposed to entertain him, or even to make conversation.

He got so mad he yanked my headphones off my head.

When you’ve suffered benign neglect for decades, you find ways and means to compensate.

As a kid, and a teenager, I found escape, and happiness in music, books, cooking and films. I was happy then, and not without good company.

Now, I am a little more grown-up. I understand others want to be in my show.

So, I show them a little attention too!

Nowadays, I am happier to enjoy a week alone at home, in my own company, but other times I love to give and take attention from real, live, lovable people, and not just hang out with my dreams.

 

 

 

 

Past a certain age

They say some fools never learn.

However, in my experience, people often become wiser as they mature. The passage of years bring with them a certain circumspect about life, and its consequences.

If this, then that.

For example, if I drink too much tonight, it will hurt too much tomorrow!

The pinnacle of mental maturity kicks in when you notice the end of the line.

There it is looming, 30 years away! Time to get into the box. The show is over.

Ok, maybe forty more years, if you are blessed with good genes and good life habits.

Dame Judi Dench just turned 81, and to celebrate she had tattooed on her wrist the words, Carpe Diem.

Seize the Day! 🙂

Musically yours,

Amy Zents

The Malady goes with the Man or Woman

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We often struggle with change. Indeed, change is hard. Often we really wish to change for the better. A temporary change can sometimes fix things, for awhile. But, human nature being what it is, we revert to our real selves.
It may make us angry, or sad that we can’t seem to effect lasting change. Obstacles and excuses stand in the way of our success.
For a time we may choose to accept our weakness as just the way we are. But, sooner or later we feel sorry for ourselves and forget about why we should be self-accepting.
We want the gold, we want the best, we want healthy minds and bodies free of disease.
We want a beautiful home, beautiful skin, a beautiful life.
Up and down we go, enslaved and at war with ourselves.
We are looking for help. We are always judging and always aware of our lack.
Perhaps now is the time to view our imperfect selves as a work in progress. Breathe deeply. Breathe easier. Be patient and in good time you will see it through!

Musically yours,

Amy Zents

Problems and passions

wp-1457538422474.jpgYou have your problems, I have mine. You have your passions, I have mine. The key to finding out what makes us feel free is deciding what direction we should go. Do we want to be led, or must we be pushed? Are we being led by pain or by passion? Whatever we decide or do not decide to do today about our future, we know there is a measure of the outcome we can control.
Mainly, the possibilities found in establishing good habits is a great way to get the ball rolling. We can be happy by focusing on what matters. Health, home, relationships, relaxing and traveling are part of what enhances our lives. Central to a great life is our career. Work is the place to start and work rewards are many.
Problems and passions co-mingle at times, but the power of habit can help to keep us on the right track to where we want to go.

Musically yours, Amy Zents