For years and years I walked around feeling bad. Yes, I felt sorry for myself. There is no pity for someone who feels wounded, hurt and used. Others just don’t know or understand. They don’t want to either.
I came to a point when I quit hoping other people would solve my dilemmas. There was nothing they could do to take back the hurt that was caused anyway.
Most of all, I really wanted to be happy.
I read somewhere that happiness is sexy!
This thought changed my life.
But it was only a start.
I still had issues related to my past.
I still felt discouraged, as I pretended to be happy.
Then I realized I not only need to be happy, so as to be attractive and sexy, but I need to value myself much, much more!
In the past, I was often kinder to others than to I was to myself.
I valued others more, and thought I was worth much less. I seemed to attract only people who were bad for me, who put me down and used me.
As I mature, I look at all my work and my accomplishments, my I.Q.of 143, and I think to myself, while no two people are alike, self-preservation is inherent. It is right to care for others, but it is necessary to love myself too.
Preservation of one’s dignity and sanity comes from self-acceptance and personal responsibility, and no one tells you that.
So, others hurt, used, and abused me. I was the victim of various crimes and emotional cruelty. I let that go.
Every day I choose to become the director of my life. I don’t let others or what they say or do get in my way.
Neither should you.
Time to pull up your big girl or big boy pants and fight for your right to party!
Well my husband got me hooked on George Formby. You may not know who he is if you are not familiar with the British musicals that George starred in during the nineteen thirties and forties.
His father, George Formby, Sr. was also a popular and successful musician and entertainer. As a result of dad’s success, George Jr grew up in a life of opulence that belied his Blackpoolian humor that hinted at humble beginnings.
Like his father before him, some of the songs that George Formby jr. performed on stage were full of double entendre.
But that’s British humor for you. They like their shows to include bawdy music hall jibber-jabber, knee-slapping goofy hi-jinks, and I like it too.
My husband asked for a Banjo Uke on his Amazon wish list, and I got him one as a surprise. Here is a video of us with his new banjo ukulele demonstrating the difference between the Hawaiian ukulele and the banjo ukulele.
A good way to find out what you do with your life is to track what you do with your time.
Be the boss of who you are. Tell yourself what to do. Be careful not to be distracted.
If you pay attention to the things you do you will start to lead your own parade.
Others will take notice, but pay them no mind. Keep your eyes on your own track, and get what you want.
Keep in mind, you will have a good life when you appreciate the fact that only you are responsible for your self-respect. You can have whatever you feel you deserve.
Don’t forget to enjoy the journey and focus on the pleasure of your own goals.
It’s important to win. The things others have are things you can have too if you can pay attention to how you control yourself in the time you have been given.
It seems I’ve gained a month of time since I last posted a week ago. I have stayed off Facebook and Twitter in efforts to gain my life back. I think about how TV robs me of my time as well. The main thing in order to live is to be able to concentrate your mind on something that is beneficial to you. There are so many things that can distract us from our purpose and dreams.
I think people are becoming more idle, more sedentary and more fat because they are glued to a screen. Rich or poor people, it doesn’t matter, if you are idle and unfocused you are not progressing, and you cannot feel content with your life. Take charge of who you are, and decide what you want. If you want to be happy, take control of your own mind and don’t let others keep you from reaching your goals.
New year. New chapter. New page. But, same old Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. This year I am only planning to go on social media once a week. Today I posted my weekly post on all three social media sites. Lovely. Now I can dive my into real life.
A beatbox and bongos are part of the mix at open mic for adventurous musicians
I would like to post something daily for the next 16 weeks to develop a writer’s discipline. Last weekend my husband and I attended open mic night at Smiley’s Tavern.
Smiley’s Tavern has a storied history. It is not the most glamorous bar on the planet.
A terrible upstairs fire that threatened it’s existence a decade ago, only seemed to temper it. To my surprise, the owners just fixed it up and put it back in working order.
I spent a lot of hours at Smileys with my husband in our courting days. It is where we used to sit and smoke cigarettes and drink beer before such things became verboten.
It’s a very informal tavern. Folks play cards in the other room, and there is a full bar with an assortment of spirits and soft drinks to imbibe.
However, we just go for open mic night. The people that belong to NUMOSS, or New Ulm Musicians Open mic society are a talented bunch and a fun group of grown-ups with an eclectic taste in music. Some of the music is original, but most of what you hear are cover songs.
So now I’m using this WordPress to update my music life. Part of being me, is being a radio broadcaster, a singer-songwriter and a music teacher.
I do have a music teaching studio call Zents Music Studio, but my life is really a studio of sorts. I’m learning everyday.
Although I’m looking forward to a bright musical future, I also want to discuss great singing technique, guitar and piano which I teach. But also there’s the lessons of living.
As a writer and songwriter there are stories everywhere you go, from the smiling old woman who curls her hair too tightly that you see at the grocery store, to the way you feel about the young guy who likes to use the electric wheelchair/shopping cart around the store even though he’s healthy.
There’s also the matter of psychology that comes along with being a performer. You can’t deny that people compare you as a singer-songwriter, the way you sing, the way you play, and the songs you write. Also, there’s no denying the CD’s which you record, and produce are always being judged.
There’s so many topics to write about here on my new WordPress domain at Zentsmusicstudio.com
They often say the best laid plans of mice and men go awry.
Sometimes it’s better not to have plans, and do what you know you should do, and do what you say you will do.
Part of growing up is becoming disciplined. To discipline yourself is the hardest thing to do.
Did you know you can become a life coach without any degree? To become a life coach you don’t even have to join their organisation and get on their mailing list either.
Why do so many people hire life coaches?
I think people like to have a life coach, although it costs them a lot of money.The fact is people are unable to kick their own butts, they prefer somebody else whip them in line.
The reality is you probably do not need anyone to tell you what to do. You know what to do. You may not want to do it. However, the ultimate decision is up to you whether or not you do it.
The truth is revealed in the movie The Wizard of Oz. You have the power within you and you’ve always had it.
One of the nice things about the digital Revolution, is that we can set up our schedule on our smartphone, and use the timer and the calendar, and it’s all paper free.
When it comes to time management, you have to be the one to manage yourself in time. Go for it! You can do it! I believe in you!
You don’t need me as your life coach, you need yourself to be on your side, to stand up for your truth, and your goals and dreams!
Normally in November the weather is gray and yucky like this picture
I should be very happy. The weather today was not all gray and depressing as it normally is in November. In fact, it got up to 72 degrees, or 22.222 degrees Celsius.
Seeing a hearse outside Domino’s Pizza Parlor just makes me wonder about being overworked
But when you burn the candle at both ends, it doesn’t take a mighty straw to break the camel’s back.
I have so many balls in the air lately, sleep is just an interruption. When I really find myself fast asleep, then it’s time to get up and take care of the diabetic Pomeranian, and take the dogs out to wee.
Not only that, the two dogs have taken it upon themselves to be my alarm clock x 2. They bark their heads off when they want me to get out of bed on their timetable.
I have dyspraxia so it’s hard enough to finally go to sleep at night, and then to have to get up prematurely, it’s really awful.
One of the dogs loves to jump on the bed and jump on me. He tries to get me to get up by jumping up and down and barking on me. The other dog, who is visually challenged, just barks and barks to get me up.
The weird thing is that they go to bed when I go to bed, but they’re up before the dawn ready to go and run. So lately my life has just been so sleep-deprived. Tonight I’m going to try to go to bed a little sooner. Yet because of my projects and work, no housework has been done and yet it’s really piling up like crazy.
It’s awful when there’s no food in the fridge, dirty dishes in the sink and no one to do all the work except yourself.
I’m seriously considering hiring some help. But I hate it when people come over and see the mess, and also people seem to intrude in my life when I don’t want them here. I need to just develop some really good habits which I plan to do, so I can just do it all myself.
Everybody seems to be working very hard lately. It’s like when it rains it pours.
Then again there’s other people that just don’t want to have to work so they just don’t come in or they call in sick and then someone else has to carry the extra load.
You can be tired in many different ways, and usually all those ways at one time.
I’m trying to look at the bright side of things right now. There are good things coming. I know. I will just try to gather my strength, any way I can. I will try and get more sleep, not do anything tonight, except close my eyes and go to bed. If I can’t sleep, then I will get up and do some cleaning. But I think I know I’ll be able to sleep because sleeping is better and easier than having to face a sink full of dirty dishes. Nevertheless, my truck is full of groceries, I just got back from the store, now I have to put everything away and take care of my diabetic Pomeranian. The Merry-Go-Round doesn’t quit.
I will find the strength, now that I have unloaded on my blog. It’s better to be too busy than bored. I’m no longer bored, just tired.
This diabetic Pomeranian is very feisty in the early morning hours
Debbie Turner speaks to a large crowd about her role in the Sound of Music
Tonight I took the trek up the hill to Martin Luther College in the town I live in.
I had just returned home from work and had eaten some supper and was ready to recline, until the buzzing on my SmartWatch told me I needed to be up at Martin Luther College at 8pm because an actress from the Robert Wise hit movie, by the name of Debbie Turner was going to talk about her role in “The Sound of Music.”
Growing up as I did in Toronto in the Inner City, I was a very lonely and neglected child and I found my escape in music and in musicals.
Walking home tonight, I fell into that reverie, the lines of the song from Sunset Boulevard sang in my head, we taught the world new ways to dream. That is Hollywood for you.
There is a resurgence and a resurrection of interest in the old movies. In fact, I’m leaving to another Turner Classic Movie Cruise in about a week. This will be my 5th Turner Classic Movie Cruise and I will see Jerry Lewis, Kim Novak, Michael York, Leslie Caron, Lucie Arnaz jr., among others.
I’ve been on cruises where I’ve seen other stars such as Shirley Jones, Mickey Rooney, Theodore Bikel, Eva Marie Saint, Angie Dickinson, Richard Wagner, Lou Gossett jr., Richard Dreyfuss, Harold Lloyd, Ruta Lee, Jane Powell, and Margaret O’Brien, who are just a few that come to mind.
Listening to Debbie Turner talk about her experiences playing Marta in The Sound of Music told me a lot about the way Hollywood used to be. The so-called lesser players were paid much less back then. The things classic movie actors and actresses have to bank on now, is the keen interest Baby Boomers along with their children have in old Hollywood. Sadly, old Hollywood, is as recent as the eighties and nineties not just the thirties and forties.
I grew up very lonely with LP’s teaching me all the lyrics to all the famous musicals from West Side Story to The Sound of Music and others in between. The curse I had was that my rhythm was poor. I have perfect pitch but not perfect rhythm, that came later with training. My husband has natural rhythm but not natural perfect pitch so we’re a perfect match.
Nevertheless, Hollywood has put its imprint on me as well as millions of others.
While kids of today may have never seen a Judy Garland film they have heard of her, just like I have heard of Rin Tin Tin, but I’ve never seen him in a movie.
So when I go on the Disney Fantasy and see Jerry Lewis for the first time for real, it will probably be just as startling and uplifting as when I saw Shirley Jones for real on the Disney Magic. I grew up watching Jerry Lewis films. In fact he was my role model for a spell. I was a crazy zany over-the-top teenager, every once in awhile, after watching one of those movies because I was yearning for a role model, even though people thought I was nuts.
I was in Oklahoma playing the lead role as Laurie in junior high school. I was unable to talk to Shirley Jones on the ship, but I was able to listen to her speak about herself and her past and I was duly disillusioned.
Did you know she was pregnant when she was playing in the movie, The Music Man? Finding out about these Stars close up and real, they were not like in my imagination at all.
How desperately I really wanted to be a part of Hollywood, is unfathomable.
I imagined being a movie star would mean being perfect and being happy all the time.
In college, they said you don’t want to meet your heroes or idols because they would surely disappoint you. For a while I was reading the biographies of Barbara Streisand and all the other movie stars that I was emulating.
I had a chance to be in a couple of local television commercials and I learned about waiting. I hated waiting for the lighting and all that. I didn’t like being part of an ensemble either. I used to sing in a choir and I hated every second of it. I wanted to be the star.
So here I am today as a radio announcer, happy as can be with two dogs to take care of and a wonderful husband who loves me. Who could ask for anything more?
In another vein, so often I heard actors and actresses say they wound up being movie stars out of dumb luck.
Perhaps it was dumb luck that prevented me from going to Hollywood and becoming an actress. Perhaps I was too dumb to qualify. I’m glad of that. I’m glad to be where I am today.
Zents Music Studio 